A Christmas Miracle For Hotch
by Tokala
Summary: "A gentle word, a kind look, a good-natured smile can work wonders and accomplish miracles." Christmas challenge fic for kdzl. Prompts: JJ/Hotch, x-mas cookies, ice skating, a x-mas miracle.


**MERRY CHRISTMAS to KDZL!**

**Author's note: First of all, this is an x-mas challenge gift fic to the AWESOME kdzl. If this fic is only at least 1% as good as her story, I'd already be content… I'm not completely satisfied with what I wrote and I am sorry, it took so long to finish (it seemed that my muse decided to go on vacation for this one). This challenge was really a hard nut to crack… I think I made at least three attempts (with a totally different storyline each) before I finally was able to finish this one (and I at least wanted to be able to give kdzl something in return, even if it may not be the best thing I ever wrote). I'm sorry, I didn't use all four prompts, but I had no idea at all how to include the song here….**

**Then there's my usual add-on: English is not my first language and while I hope I'm not completely butchering it, there may be times when my wording, grammar, vocabulary isn't top-notch or where I'm randomly mixing American and British idioms, so please keep that in mind. Ok, before this A/N gets any longer… on with the story!**

**Summary: **_"__A gentle word, a kind look, a good-natured smile can work wonders and accomplish miracles." _Christmas challenge fic for kdzl. Prompts: JJ/Hotch, x-mas cookies, ice skating, a x-mas miracle.

**A Christmas Miracle For Hotch**

"_**Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid." (Fjodor Dostojevskij)**_

"Daddy!"

Aaron Hotchner smiled and watched his son Jack rush towards him with flailing arms. The six-year-old was positively glowing and with feelings of guilt Hotch realized that the times he saw his son like that were extremely rare. After Haley's death he'd realized, that life could be over all too soon. Even before Foyet he'd known he wasn't the textbook example of a father, the only contact he usually was having with his son being over the phone and even that not on a regular schedule due to time differences or the team being on the road until late at night. But things seemed to be looking up: these past few months he'd spent more time in the company of his son than in all the years before put together. This was only possible since he had his team, which really was more like a family, to back him up. Even his supervisor Erin Strauss, with whom he'd fought a running battle since starting at the BAU, had undergone a change and had actually proven to be supportive, now and then urging him to leave the office a bit sooner, so he could spend some time with Jack.

"Daaaaddy!" Jack's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"I'm there, buddy. So, did you have fun?" Hotch said, looking back at the mall's Santa, that already had another young kid on his lap, a long line of kids still waiting their turn.

"Yes! It was great! Look, I even got some cookies!" Jack exclaimed, holding up a small bag filled with all kinds of Christmas cookies. "And he said that my wish would definitely come true!" Jack continued, as they both began to move towards the toy store. If ever they went shopping together, the toy store was always a mandatory stop.

"So, what did you wish for?" Hotch inquired, as they made their way through the crowd.

"But daaaaady, don't you know that you're not allowed to tell someone else what you wished for or it won't come true!" His son answered precociously, giving him a look that literally said 'Duh!' Hotch had to laugh.

"You're right, buddy. I was just awfully curious." He replied good-naturedly. Jack nodded knowingly. Then he stopped, looked first carefully to the left, then to right, before plucking at his father's jacket.

"Ok, I'll tell you." He whispered conspiratorially. "I told Santa to grant you a Christmas miracle." Hotch stopped dead in his tracks.

"You did…but why?" He asked in disbelief, staring at his son. He thought the boy would ask for the newest gaming console or toy train or or or… but not this.

"Daddy, ever since mommy went to heaven, you have been sad. So I told Santa, that a miracle would make you happy. Isn't that right?" Jack asked, suddenly apparently fearing that he'd done something wrong. _Oh god_. Hotch couldn't believe it. He'd always thought, he'd managed to keep his personal grief away from Jack, but apparently his son was observant way beyond his age. It seemed that sometimes children were much better profilers than adults.

"Jack, of course… of course you are right. A Christmas miracle would make me happy…" Hotch hesitantly answered.

"But, what Daddy? Don't you believe in miracles?" His son asked, noticing his father's hesitation.

"Well, you see buddy…" Hotch launched into an explanation just as they were coming around a corner, thus forgetting to look ahead and colliding head-on with someone going the opposite direction.

"Hey, can't you watch where…" His opposite exclaimed in an all too familiar voice, but then trailed off. Obviously she'd noticed, with whom she'd collided. Then suddenly both spoke at once.

"Hotch?" "JJ?"

"I haven't seen you in a while." Hotch began. _Ha, what a lie, Aaron! It's not like you bothered to keep in touch, after she'd left the BAU_. "How are you?" He asked. JJ smiled slightly.

"Yeah, I've been… busy. I almost feel like I'm working twenty-four seven." She replied. _Hey, why don't you add, that you cut all your ties with your friends at the BAU, because you've been regretting your decision to leave from day one?_

"Well, that's the Pentagon I guess. At least you don't have to jet off to some remote hick town every other day anymore." Hotch tried to joke. "I'm sure Henry's glad to have you around more often." He continued, smiling at the little boy at JJ's hand. Only now did he notice that the little family opposite him seemed to be lacking something – or rather someone.

"JJ, where's Will?" He asked. It didn't take a profiler to see that JJ's face visibly darkened at the mention of Henry's father.

"Will …left. He went back to New Orleans shortly after I quit the BAU." The blonde admitted quietly, staring at her feet.

"I'm… I'm sorry to hear that." Hotch replied, trying to think of some comforting words. He remembered how many times he'd sat in his office late at night, staring at the phone on his desk. _You could have been there for her, but no…I guess it was out of sight, out of mind for you, Aaron._

"It's okay." JJ said, smiling weakly. "We manage. My cousin's been quite supportive." She said and looked behind. Obviously spotting someone, she waved and yelled. "Ange, over here!" A brunette approached and smiled.

"There you are, Jayjie. I'm sorry. I got carried away at the computer store." She explained.

"No problem, Ange." JJ said, and then turned to Hotch. "Hotch, meet my cousin Angelica Marlowe. She works for an IT company here in D.C. Ange, this is Aaron Hotchner from the FBI, my former boss. And his son Jack" She made introductions.

"You know, I always told JJ to stay with you. The Pentagon? Oh come on…" Angelica told Hotch, rolling her eyes. The computer expert obviously thought very little of JJ's new employer.

"Well, it was … a great opportunity for JJ." Hotch tried to justify JJ's decision. _Ha, great opportunity my ass! It wasn't like she hadn't option, because you didn't fight for her._

"Yeah, right." Angelica replied wryly. Her eyes wandered from her cousin to Hotch and back.

JJ noticed that her cousin's eyes suddenly began to gleam. Uh-oh. It never boded well if Ange got _that_ look.

"Listen, JJ. How about I take Henry to the toy store…err, Aaron? If you trust me with Jack, I'd be happy to take him along. I gather you two haven't seen each other for a while. Maybe you two could go for a cup of coffee while I take the kids to Toys'R'us." Angelica said.

"I'm okay with that. I really could do with a cup of coffee right now. Jack, do you want to go to the toy store together with Angelica and Henry?" He asked his son, who immediately loudly approved. Even if going for a cup of coffee was far from making amends for how shamefully he'd behaved towards JJ after she'd left, maybe they could at least reconcile. Plus, it had been a while since he'd talked to anybody outside of the BAU. Maybe it was time for some everyday life. _You're kidding yourself, Aaron. It's not everyday life you need; it's that certain someone standing in front of you!_

"Ok! Great!" Angelica exclaimed loudly and before either Hotch or JJ could object, she'd vacated the scene with Henry and Jack in tow.

"So, err… shall we?" Hotch said, pointing at the Starbucks across the mall.

"Yeah, let's go."

Five minutes later they were comfortably ensconced in two plush chairs in a remote corner of the coffee shop, two mugs of steaming coffee in front of them and apparently both of them looking for a way to pick up their conversation. It was Hotch, who spoke first, when he noticed a bruise on JJ's hand right as she was lifting her mug to take a sip.

"Dear god, JJ!" He exclaimed. "What happened?" He asked, pointing at her hand.

"Oh… that…" JJ shrugged. "I took Henry ice skating two days ago." She explained. "Apparently I'm no Michelle Kwan." She added and smiled wryly. Hotch immediately felt reassured. For a moment he'd been afraid, that somebody might have hurt her. He wondered why her well-being was still so vital to him. She had left the BAU more than a year ago and even though he hadn't really seen her in the meantime, he still felt protective towards her, now that she was sitting opposite of him. _Oh, come on, don't act the fool, Aaron. You know exactly, why you feel that way about her!_

"So, how are you and Jack, Hotch?" She asked, pulling him from his thoughts.

"We're okay; I'm spending more time with him these days…" He began, but then stopped. "Actually, I still feel like I'm failing him." He admitted, staring at his cup and not daring to look her in the eye. "I mean, I'm selfish, am I not? Shouldn't I have left the BAU after …" He trailed off. Suddenly he felt her gentle hands on his. They were soft and warm and Hotch instantly felt a wave of calmness and comfort wash over him.

"Hotch, you are one of the most amazing people I've ever met, you care about your team like a father should care about his son and I've seen you interact with Jack and you're doing even more for him, even if you may not be around him all the time, you're still a great father. Don't let anybody ever make you think otherwise." JJ said strongly.

"Thank you." Hotch replied quietly. Only now, JJ seemed to realize that she was still holding his hand.

"I'm sorry, I…" She hastily began and started to withdraw her hand.

"Don't." Hotch was surprised at his sudden display of boldness, but he knew if he didn't do something now she might be gone from his life forever. "It is I, who should be sorry." He continued. "I didn't fight for you enough, when you were _offered _promotion to the Pentagon. I've regretted that since the day you left. We've adapted of course, but sometimes I feel we're missing the 'heart' that keeps everyone together. I am also deeply sorry for not keeping in touch with you. You played a pivotal role in the BAU's success and I just let you get out of my sight without ever inquiring how you'd settled into your new life… there is no excuse for that, but I don't want you to disappear like that again." He watched JJ's face carefully; the look of surprise that had graced her face at hearing his words was quickly replaced by a warm smile.

"I won't, I promise." She said, and then took a deep breath. When she'd been promoted and left the BAU, it had hurt her that Hotch had seemed to just forget about her. Sure she had also been not completely innocent and cut more or less all ties to her old life, apart from the odd phone call to Garcia or Emily. She'd always cared from him, but after Foyet's attack on his family they'd grown even closer and there had been moments where she'd wondered if the nature of the friendship they were sharing was changing. But when Hotch had given her more or less the cold shoulder after she'd left, that had hurt her more, than she ever would've been willing to admit. And she'd told herself numerous times, that whatever she'd seen or felt between the both of them, she must've imagined it. Had she maybe read the situation back then completely wrong?

"I mean it, JJ." Hotch interrupted her musings. He grasped her hand more firmly. "I… oh, you know I'm not good with this… but…" _It's now or never, Aaron. _"…I want you back in my life. Not only as friend…I… I care deeply for you. I know, I'm a crippled soul, completely inept at expressing my feelings and I am on the road an awful lot… and if there is any hope, that in the future…what I mean to say, is that I…" He trailed off, when she lifted her hand and gently started to caress his cheek.

"Hotch… _Aaron…" _She began hesitantly, a quiet smile gracing her lips. _Oh god. _His name sounded wonderful rolling off her lips. "I… I never was one that cared much about sayings, but I once heard someone say, that if you loved somebody you should let them go and if that person returns, they were always yours. Aaron… you needn't hope for the future, when I can give you the present." She admitted her feelings, which she'd kept so long hidden.

They talked about a lot of other things that day, before Angelica returned with their kids. But it had been these words, which had been so crucial to rekindling their relationship. Words that had been left unsaid for far too long had finally been disclosed. As Hotch was driving home with his son, who was chattering animatedly about what a cool person JJ's cousin was, because she seemed to know everything about computer games, his head kept replaying that moment over and over again.

"Daddy! You're not even listening to me!" Jack suddenly complained. Hotch smiled.

"Sorry, buddy. I was just thinking…" He explained, then added: "About your wish to Santa, actually."

"Oh, really?" Jack wanted to know, suddenly very interested.

"You know, buddy. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe miracles do happen." He said, thinking of a blonde ex-media liaison. He nearly had to laugh, when Jack rolled his eyes and snorted.

"Of course miracles happen, daddy. All you have to do is believe in them!"


End file.
